Friends

Tuesday I did a mystery shop and talked to Nick, Dave, and Trent while driving. Skipped comedy because Shaun changed his mind about going and Adele's car broke down. Shaun invited me over to play a ghetto version of PlayStation football. You win points and decorate your crib, yo. Watched him play. Some decade he may let me actually play, but I know I better not kick his ass too bad or he probably won't let me play much. :) Yeah right. I have no hope in hell of winning. He's damn, damn good. Cool game. Had fun watching that and South Park.
Met Brooklyn guy. What a disappointment! Still agreed to let him follow me down to the Old City. He ended up two cars behind me and didn't see me exit. Then he couldn't follow directions on the phone - easy directions! So I sat in my car and waited. Started nodding off so I went inside and goofed off at the Urban Bar for a few minutes. Went looking for the doofus. Called him and found out where he was. Repeated all that then went home. Missed out on the awkwardness of having to hang out with him - good! What a doofus.
Wednesday I worked twelve hours and then won a game of Scrabble against Kelly. Talked to Kevin. He'd missed me the last few nights. He was in rare form. Very sweet. I melted. Again. I've been or fallen in love with four guys since the summer of 2000 when I met Kevin - older Matt, Kevin, Chris, and Richard. I finally confessed that I wrote a story about him and submitted it to Chicken Soup for the Hero's Soul years ago.
Why? He drove up from east Tennessee and helped out around the clock from late at night on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, to that following Sunday. In October he went up there again. Vincent and I spent a three day weekend there in October, but I couldn't get word through to Kevin about how proud I was of him. He already knew though. A few weeks later he fell through a roof while fighting a fire back near home. Lost all memory. All. Didn't even know who his parents were. His Mom contaced hotmail and got into his email. Told him that he needed to call some girl who was checking in on him. I thought it was weird that he didn't call after hunting season ended. When I did finally see him and talk to him, it was so sad. I had to find his truck in the parking lot at the hockey game and introduce myself to him. Thankfully, a lot of his memory is back now. I told him I'd email the story to him. Why the heck not when I've already let him read my diary entry that describes our first few dates. I'll paste the story on here when I find it. I emailed it to my friends a long time ago.
Met Kevin and Casey through the phone dating line. Like Casey, I talk to Kevin off and on. Unlike Casey, there's mutual interest. Casey is just weird. Very hot/cold like Kevin but worse. Casey intrigues me at times, but I'll never fall for him. After all this time, it's obvious that he just wants one thing, and he won't get it from me. No matter how horny I ever get. You can't get more opposite than Kevin. But just like Casey and mostly unlike me, Kevin is indirect. Except for when the moon is full or something. Last night he was so sweet. Kept saying I always had a couch to crash on. He means that. He's not looking for just one thing. He's the only guy who has ever graded, much less offered to help me with, the ninth grade English papers I often tackle for Kate. He's smart, witty, and heroic.
Jokingly, he told me that I shouldn't go on a scheduled blind date this Saturday night because I needed to tell "him" that I was going to be the future Mrs. ____ (Kevin's last name). I said that if he ever proposed to me that I'd crash my car. He's never even once said he loves me so I of course have never told him my feelings. They waver. I loved him in 2000. I admire him and really care for him now, but I'm not really in love with him now. That's because I haven't been around him much or talked to him much for the last however many months. He was dating a girl and fell for her. Part of me was amazed that he fell, and another part of me was also amazed he told me. He told me last night that I know him better than any woman ever has. Well, yeah, I'm sure that's true. He just won't open up. When someone falls for him or acts like they're falling for him OR when HE is close to falling, he runs away. That's what he did to me in 2000. He was hugging me one minute and saying he missed me and then ignoring me the next minute. Man, oh, man.
The woman from younger Matt's company called for the phone interview Tuesday, but I had the ringer off. I'm still waiting with baited breath for her to call me back. Have had my ringer on at work for two days now and have tried calling her back a few times. Voicemail every time.
Sometime in the next couple of days younger Matt will be proposing to his boyfriend on a cliff north of San Francisco. Jeremy doesn't know. I can't wait to be part of the wedding party. Wish they could have a real wedding since they deserve the best. Congratulations Matt. You're amazing. I'm thankful every day for your friendship. It feels like you've known me my whole life, but it's only been three years. Three years that I thank my lucky stars for.