Hanging by a Thread

First thing this morning a student turned in three overdue books. On dying. It took all I had in me not to cry while shelving them. I wish I didn't have to be here today. I have to be though. There was a very important meeting this morning, and another one is coming up. I just want to go home and lock myself up at my place and never come out again. I want to make God mortal and then kill him. I want to scream. I want to go to sleep and not wake up until right before I'm due to die. Or when a time machine is invented. A part of me has died, and I don't know when I'll ever be whole again. I've lost the most amazing man I've ever met. I've lost someone who could read me like a book. Who could finish my sentences. Who knew when my happiness was a facade. A facade is going to be my new best friend.