Comedy, Chess, and the Most Amazing Friends on Earth

Last night I went to see Einstein Simplified for the first time in weeks. Frank and Paul were sent on a quest to retrieve Eminem's smelly second sock from K2. Those are the kinds of cards you are dealt when you base your show on audience suggestions. So, anyway...We couldn't figure out what the hell Frank was talking about, why he was bringing up Oak Ridge while Paul was talking about sherpas. When Paul finally figured out that Frank had K2 confused with the K25 nuclear plant in nearby Oak Ridge (which I didn't even know existed), he made fun of him in such a way that made the whole audience lose it. Michelle and I couldn't breath. And we weren't the only ones in need of oxygen tanks.
After the show, I stopped off in Cup 'O' Joe to watch some men play chess. Met Seed, Theo, and Scotty and sat in awe of their abilities. I was tempted to yell "Bingo" while they were reciting board locations. Their rapid-fire lingo was reminiscent of what you'd expect to hear if Alvin and the Chipmunks joined Mensa. I felt like a retard. "Wait, could you please repeat those last ten moves that you said would have happened if you'd moved that there piece over yonder please? And go slow please. What? Oh yeah, that piece can't move diagonal....right!" My brain hadn't felt so numb since I'd crashed after being coked up from ingesting a box of Vivarin. Hey, at least it wasn't accompanied by a kidney infection this time.
Theo kept challenging me to a game. $1 bet. Told him that I didn't want to become a pauper anytime soon.
When I finally decided to give my brain a break, I got to my car and picked up my phone only to realize I'd missed five calls. Had three voice mails from younger Matt, Vincent, and Katie. When Katie figured out I hadn't listened to her voice mail yet, she made me listen to it and then call her back. What a punk. But she had a point. She said I wouldn't believe what she had the guts to say on there. She better be glad I didn't have her on speakerphone in an evangelical gathering. I called Vincent.
V: "Where are you?"
Me: "Driving."
V: "Then come over."
He practically ordered me over to his place! That was pretty funny. Took me completely by surprise. So I stayed over there until 2:30 in the morning hanging out and helping him compose a high-brow message to his ex. Vincent's been such a great friend here lately. So many compliments and such. Thanks Voodazz. Blush.
Didn't call younger Matt back last night, but he just called again. Said he was worried when I repeatedly didn't answer my phone last night. Told him about comedy and chess, and he asked if I snapped at the chess guy again. What a brat. Yes it was the same guy, but I said that I doubt that he remembers that. Matt begged to differ so now I'll have to apologize to Theo the next time I see him. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I wasn't upset at you. Just wanted to kill my little brother is all."
He invited me to his parent's place for Thanksgiving. He said they suggested it after he told them that my family is in Texas. Kate left a message yesterday afternoon apologizing for not inviting me to her inlaw's house when I was talking to her the other day, saying that they are really stressed right now. I was cool with not doing anything tomorrow. Was planning on reading and relaxing and then spending dinner with Chaunda's family on Friday. Kate knew that but still apologized. She's killing me. They're all killing me. I truly am blessed with the best collection of friends anyone could ask for. They amaze me. How I got so lucky I'll never know. Thanks everyone. I love you all.