Superstitious

I went to the bookstore for a two-hour-long cheesy holiday meeting and then went ahead and gave K a call. Turned into a 3 1/2 hour conversation that didn't end until 1 AM. It was really good to talk to him. He still has so much enthusiasm for the little things in life, and I admire that. He is divorced and has gone through a really rough time. He tried really hard to keep the marriage afloat, and I have to respect that.
Some things he said really stood out. He said he went to Sanibel and Captiva islands again and rode a bike all day. I asked if he went kayaking again, and he said, "No, I wasn't with people who liked that kind of thing. You liked everything; you'd do anything. I thought, 'God, I miss her.'" When I told him about going to a New Orleans years ago, I mentioned that I went to a strip club for the first time ever. "I mean one for males, that is. Of course I'd already been to that one after you begged and begged." He said, "I'm sorry, yeah that was kind of jerky of me." I said, "I was just giving you a hard time. You know that didn't bother me one bit. The only thing that bothered me was that there wasn't anything for me to look at. Plus there was nowhere to look to avoid seeing naked women since there were mirrors EVERYWHERE." He said, "Yeah, I told everyone that 'Man, I had this girl. It was great. She didn't mind those kind of things. She was cool with it.'" Yeah, I didn't mind his going since he'd never been before. But if he had made a habit out of it, heck yeah I would have minded. Still, it was really flattering to hear him say all these things.
He said that there's been several times that he has told people how great the six months he lived in Orlando were. Yes, I said, I have to agree, they were great. I had just lost my dad three months before I met him and then I lost my stepmom two months later. When he moved in with me three months after I met him (man, did things move quickly), we had a blast. Spent weekends in Tampa, Daytona Beach, and Sanibel Island. He provided a shoulder to cry on when I needed it, but most importantly, he was spontaneous and loved to travel and try new things. We went everywhere - Disney World, kayaking, canoeing, gambling, dancing, comedy clubs, and more. I was having so much fun, and that's what I needed most. I've told everyone, including Brad, how lucky I was to have had him at that moment in my life. I had just moved back to Orlando and I only knew two people there, Sean and Brad, and Brad wasn't calling me. He thought I had his number, but I didn't. I hadn't rekindled my friendship with Sean quite yet. I was just hopelessly alone. Then along came this tourist who fell head over heels for me. Promised me all but the moon and the stars and swept me off my feet. He was so very sweet. And had such a good heart.
He really seems to be thinking about how good he once had it. Especially after being married to an "immature," "mean" girl who "got lonely" while he was working third shift and had a guy over who neighbors said spent the night. She said, "I just didn't want to be alone in the apartment." Yeah, right. If that WAS true, then grow up. I highly doubt it was true though. He put up with a lot of crap and gave her the benefit of the doubt so many times. I would have shot her. I'll give him credit there. He worked on staying together with her. I can't say that he did the same with me. I was thinking about bolting but didn't. And then out of the blue, while I was crying over the difficulty in getting a new car after mine was totalled, he walked in and didn't even ask why I was crying. Simply said he was going to move out in a couple of months when the lease expired. Simply gave me another reason to cry. And though I tried to get rid of him every day after that, he refused to budge. Those two months were just plain ugly. And to make it even more tortuous, he even cried over his decision as well, saying he didn't like what was happening. Said that he wasn't going to live with anyone before marriage again. I was bitter and especially hated all of the religious mumbo jumbo he threw at me. He was so judgmental. It took a long time for me to get over the anger. For so long, I was civil to him as much as I could be but was seething on the inside. It's nice not to feel any of those feelings anymore. It's so nice to have all of that behind us. He is a great guy, and I know we can remain friends. Just like we were before I cut off contact. And I didn't do that because of anything he was doing; it was all me.
It's really weird to hear him talking about being old and calling twenty-year-olds "kids." Man has time passed. I haven't seen him in six years. It's really hard to imagine his being thirty. Very hard. He was so young and naive when I met him. So inexperienced. He hadn't been on his own before. I'd been on my own for most of the last six years, since I was eighteen, when I met him. He was 22, and I was 24. There were a lot of differences. Our childhoods were polar opposites. I always thought things would have turned out differently if I'd met him when he was older, wiser, and more experienced.
That would be now. But I really shouldn't think about that. The particular timing of his contacting me and the gut feelings I had beforehand are making me feel really superstitious though. I'm not going to explain. Everyone would call me weird if I explained the superstitions. Just too strange.