The Freaks Come Out To Read

This really geeky guy with huge REFLECTIVE GLASSES came up to the customer service desk the other day. The glasses were straight out of C*H*I*P*S. He had a voice that sounded like he had a trach. Sudden bursts of laughter sounded like delicate cackles. He had a sunken face and a slender build. However, a vast beer belly pooched out in defiant contrast to the rest of his frame. He was very jittery. He was trying to check on the status of a book he had ordered. The book? As I See It, a book of photographs of naked young men who, according to our database, are not quite boys but not quite men; they haven't quite reached maturity. Great, he's probably a pedophile!
Another guy called to see if we had a book, saying he doubted that we would have it. He verified with me that censorship is illegal in this country. What a wacko. The computer showed we should have it, but I couldn't find it. He said he wasn't surprised, but he was shocked when I said I could order it. He didn't want to provide his real name, the paranoid freak. The book? The Federal Mafia: How It Illegally Imposes and Unlawfully Collects Income Taxes. Think he paid his taxes?????